Category Archives: Blog

¿Qué es el abuso sexual infantil?

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Estoy dedicando este blog a hablar de Abuso Sexual Infantil-¿ pero qué es eso? Para algunos, esto podría sonar como una pregunta ridícula. Pero la verdad es que muchas personas no saben la respuesta. Cuando la mayoría de nosotros pensamos en abuso sexual a menudo pensamos que el acto debe ser físico, tocando indebidamente. Después de todo, esta es la definición de la cual tenemos mas conocimiento.

De hecho, estamos tan familiarizados con la idea del abuso sexual teniendo una forma física que no protegemos a los niños de otras formas de abuso sexual que son hasta mas dañinos y perjudiciales para un niño.

Estos son algunos ejemplos de cómo un niño puede ser abusado sexualmente:

▪ Estar expuesto a la pornografía,

▪ Tener niños testigos de actos sexuales en frente de otros,

▪ Ver a los niños en el baño o en la ducha, desvestirse (más allá de lo que apropiado para la edad),

▪ El acoso sexual (incluido el acoso callejero de las niñas),

▪ Conversaciones sexualmente explícitas con niños,

▪ Solicitar a los niños a través de Internet,

▪ Filmar a los niños participando en actividades sexuales,

▪ Un niño que practica un acto sexual en un adulto,

▪ Un niño que practica un acto sexual en otro niño, y

▪ Masturbarse en la presencia de un niño.

Observe que muchas de las cosas que he mencionado han sido vistas, vistas o escuchadas-no físicas, toques inapropiados. Uno de los retos de nuestra comprensión del abuso es que, cuando sospechamos algo, nuestra primera pregunta a un niño es típicamente “¿quién te tocó?” Soy consciente de muchos casos en los que un niño ha respondido honestamente: “nadie me tocó”, pero todavía estaban siendo abusados! Nuestras preguntas a los niños deben cubrir

todo en esta lista. Por ejemplo: ¿alguien le ha pedido que te quites tu ropa, te hizo ver películas, mirar fotos, o te contactó a través de Internet? Este tipo de preguntas son mejores que preguntar ¿quien te tocó?.

Una de las cosas que muchos de nosotros no comprendemos acerca del abuso sexual es que puede tomar días meses o años antes de que un perpetrador de abuso intente tocar a un niño. Comienzan con identificando a un niño vulnerable y de fácil acceso. Una vez que el niño es identificado, el agresor comienza lo que se llama el “proceso de aseo”, que es cuando alguien se hace amigo de un niño y trata de establecer una conexión emocional para que el niño haga algo que desee. Cuando usted entienda el proceso de la preparación, usted también  va entender que esto no es una cosa fácil que puede hacer un desconocido.  Es a menudo la gente que conocemos, no los extraños, que típicamente preparan a un niño.

Recuerde que todos podemos hacer nuestra parte para prevenir y terminar con el abuso sexual infantil. Así que la próxima vez que quieras preguntarle a un niño “¿quién te tocó?”

Haz otras preguntas, como:

▪ ¿Alguien te ha hecho sentir incómodo?

▪ ¿Alguien te pidió que miraras películas o imágenes?

▪ ¿Alguien te ha pedido que te quites la ropa?

▪ ¿Alguna vez te han seguido o visto en momentos en que necesitaste privacidad?

▪ ¿Hay alguien que te esta haciendo sentir incómodo?

Usted se sorprenderá cuánto niños mas podemos proteger si realmente entendemos mejor el abuso sexual infantil y preguntar las preguntas correctas.

¿Por qué abuso sexual infantil?

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Para aquellos de ustedes que me conocen personalmente y conocen mi historia de trabajo, saben que abogo para prevenir, intervenir y tratar el Abuso Sexual Infantil.

Reconozco de inmediato que el abuso infantil en todas las formas sigue siendo un problema, pero he decido enfocarme en el abuso sexual infantil por las siguientes razones:

▪ El abuso sexual infantil sigue siendo una de las formas menos discutida,

▪ La mayoría de los adultos no pueden identificar señas y síntomas de abuso sexual infantil,

▪ La mayoría de los adultos asumen que el abuso sexual infantil sólo ocurre en una forma física y no reconocen otros tipos de abuso sexual que ocurren en sus hogares y comunidades,

▪ La mayoría de las organizaciones de servicios de protección a la infancia, los tribunales y el fiscal de distrito solo intervienen en casos en los que hay evidencia física de abuso o el abusador es atrapado en el acto (lo que no ocurre frecuentemente),

▪ Muchos adultos todavía no se sienten cómodos hablando con sus niños sobre la seguridad del cuerpo

y

▪ La mayoría de adultos siguen hablando con sus hijos sobre el mito del “peligro extraño”.

Estas son solo algunas de las razones por las que me enfoco en el abuso sexual infantil. Como usted puede ver de mi lista, hay mucho trabajo que se necesita hacer. A lo largo de mi carrera, he trabajado en cada uno de estos temas. El abuso sexual todavía invoca la vergüenza, el miedo y el secreto de una manera que otras formas de abuso no lo hacen. También creo que debería haber más urgencia en afrentar el abuse sexual infantil comparado con otros tipos de abuso. El adulto promedio generalmente conoce los signos de abuso físico y de la negligencia, por que hay más tipos de intervención.

Se estima que sólo 1 de cada 10 niños revelarán el abuso sexual cuando todavía son niños. Esto significa que no estamos ayudando a niños que han sido abusados sexualmente! Estas estadísticas son creíbles para mí debido a los muchos sobrevivientes con los que he trabajado y que no han contado su historia durante 10, 20, 30-incluso 50 años después de que ocurrieron los abusos.

Confiamos demasiado en las revelaciones de los niños y esta no es la estrategia correcta.  Hay que hacer más para educar a los adultos sobre la prevención, intervención y tratamiento. Es casi como si estuviéramos sobre confiando en los niños mismos. Los adultos necesitan tomar la iniciativa en este asunto. Aunque yo crea que se le debe enseñar a los niños sobre la seguridad de su cuerpo en las escuelas y en el hogar, ¿cuántas veces vamos a enseñarle a los niños y no a los adultos que son responsable de ellos?

El impacto del abuso sexual infantil es profundo y duradero. El problema me ha impactado como a muchos de ustedes personalmente y profesionalmente. He visto infancias robadas, pero también he visto la edad adulta robada por el abuso sexual. Elegí el abuso sexual infantil porque quiero dar voz al tema. Yo quiero hablar por aquellos que no pueden hablar por sí mismos y quiero enseñarle a los adultos ser mas responsables de la protección de los niños.

¿Alguien se preocupa por el abuso sexual infantil?

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Como alguien que ha trabajado en esta carrera durante mucho tiempo con frecuencia escucho esta pregunta. Mucha gente dice que al público en general no le importa el abuso sexual infantil. No estoy de acuerdo con esto. He encontrado que la mayoría de la gente no saben que deben preocuparse por el abuso sexual infantil. Una vez que las personas se dan cuenta de la verdadera escala y alcance de este problema, encuentro que las personas si les importa, simplemente no saben qué hacer.

Uno de los desafíos de este trabajo es la vergüenza y el secreto que rodea el abuso sexual. Es casi como si hubiera un acuerdo no declarado para nunca reconocer o hablar de ello. Siempre sale en susurros, en voz baja. No puedo decirte cuántos talleres he hecho donde la gente sube hacia mi al final o durante los descansos para compartir historias de su abuso, o sobre el abuso de alguien que aman.

Uno de los aspectos más conflictivos de este trabajo es que tenemos tantas expectativas de los sobrevivientes, pero al mismo tiempo no seguimos nuestras propias responsabilidades. Esperamos que la gente revele el abuso, pero no los creemos cuando lo hacen. Esperamos que la gente revelen el abuso, pero no proporcionan suficientes recursos para ellos cuando lo hacen. Esperamos que la gente revelen abuso, pero no consideramos raza, género u opresión. Estereotipamos a las personas que son maltratadas y desafiamos la verdad y la credibilidad de alguien que no es la víctima perfecta. Cuando un sobreviviente finalmente toma el primer paso valiente para revelar el abuso, a menudo confiamos en ellos para educar a otros sobre el tema sin tener en cuenta que los supervivientes necesitan enfocarse en su propio saneamiento y bienestar.

Con el fin de hacer una diferencia real en la eliminación del abuso sexual infantil, debemos dejar de hacer sobrevivientes responsables de poner fin a la violencia. Este es el mismo argumento que tengo con otros movimientos también. ¿Por qué siempre hacer que los oprimidos luchen por la justicia mientras nos sentamos en las afueras y evaluamos si su causa es creíble y decidir si podemos relacionarnos con ella o no? Acabar con el abuso sexual infantil es una cuestión de derechos humanos, sencillo y llano. Cualquier niño que está siendo abusado, no importa la forma o el tipo de abuso-están teniendo su infancia robada de ellos!

Cuando no tienes niñez, no puedes jugar. Cuando no puedes jugar, no puedes imaginar ni soñar. Cuando no puedes imaginar o soñar, no puedes identificar lo que quieres para tu futuro. Cuando no se puede pensar en el futuro, comienzas a sentirte desesperado. Cuando empiezas a sentirte desesperado, deja de hacer un esfuerzo. ¿Qué pasa cuando decenas de miles de personas dejan de hacer un esfuerzo? ¿Realmente quieres saber? Trabajemos juntos para recuperar la infancia de sobrevivientes de abuso sexual infantil.

Inicio de un diálogo sobre el abuso sexual infantil

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Después de muchos años de contemplación, estoy escribiendo mi primer post en el blog. Como algunos de ustedes saben, mi pasión ha sido tratar, prevenir, intervenir y acabar con el abuso sexual infantil. Tanto como he amado el trabajo y he dedicado mi tiempo y pasión a él, la realidad es que puedo hacer más. Este blog es mi manera de hacerme responsable. Voy a usar este espacio para

aumentar la conciencia, hacer preguntas difíciles, tratar mitos y presentar hechos sobre el abuso sexual infantil. He estado trabajando con niños, jóvenes y adultos que han sobrevivido el abuso sexual infantil o agresiones sexuales durante toda mi carrera. Es un tema que conozco bien. He visto el impacto a largo plazo en individuos, familias y comunidades. Sé que hay incontables personas que sufren en silencio debido a la vergüenza, al miedo, la desesperanza y al aislamiento. Las estadísticas indican que 1 en 4 niñas y 1 de cada 6 niños serán abusados ​​sexualmente antes de los 18 años en los Estados Unidos. ¿Por qué no estamos hablando de esto todos los días? Cuando pensamos en el abuso sexual infantil, creemos que no nos afecta personalmente o decimos que hay otros asuntos que necesitamos enfocarnos en primero.

Aislamos el problema, convirtiéndolo en un problema individual o familiar. El hecho es que usted probablemente tiene familia, amigos, vecinos, colegas, compañeros de clase, maridos, esposas y compañeros, que han sido abusados ​​sexualmente como niños. Está a nuestro alrededor, no lo podemos escapar. Ninguno de nosotros es inmune a el impacto. Imagínate un mundo donde los niños no fueron abusados, ¿cómo sería? Si todos jugamos nuestra parte, podemos hacer una gran diferencia. Dedico este blog a cualquiera que haya sido abusado. Este es mi intento de hacer del mundo un mejor lugar. Doy la bienvenida a sus comentarios y pensamientos. Gracias por leer mi blog.

How to support Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

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Do you know an adult who was sexually abused as a child? In many ways this is a rhetorical question, because we all know someone who was sexually abused as a child, we just may not know it.   What would you do if they disclosed the abuse to you? How would you respond? What would they want from you?

Before you overthink these questions, I want to offer a few suggestions. First, no one expects you to provide therapy or to answer why it happened.   Perhaps they only want you to bear witness and listen to their story or maybe they want you to really understand who they are and what their personal journey has been. Many survivors have different reasons for why they want to tell their story. What I can say for certain is that a survivor does not need you to say the following things:

  • Why didn’t you tell
  • How come you didn’t stop it
  • Are you sure?
  • Maybe you don’t remember you were so young
  • I can’t believe —————— would do that to you
  • I feel so sorry for you

These are a few of the insensitive comments that are damaging and hurtful. Survivors also don’t need your pity, or your judgment; they simply want you to be the same person you were to them before they told you. They want you to understand they are not defined by their abuse; it is simply part of who they are.

I can’t tell you how many times I have worked with survivors who disclosed to someone and has felt rejected, humiliated or blamed for their abuse. The impact can be detrimental in a survivors healing process. I readily acknowledge it is difficult to know what to say or do if someone disclosures abuse to you. Here are a few options:

  • Thank you for sharing this with me, I appreciate your trust
  • I am here for you
  • It’s not your fault
  • I believe you
  • Is there anything I can do?

It is not necessary for you to know the specific details of the abuse. If you are not told, please do not ask. As much as we don’t like to talk about Child Sexual Abuse, I am always shocked when survivors are asked about the specific details of their abuse once they disclose. I wonder if this is our way to “prove” the abuse actually occurred.

Being in the moment with someone when they share their story with you provides healing and support.   When you think about how long people can hold on to their stories consider it a privilege they shared with you. All you have to do is be the same person they chose to tell their story to.

 

 

 

Our Collective Responsibility to End Child Sexual Abuse

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One of the most significant challenges of ending Child Sexual Abuse is silence and shame keeps us from acknowledging the scope of the problem. We simply don’t want to acknowledge millions of children are abused every year.   When pressed many will say we can keep children safe by strengthening the Criminal Justice system. The problem with this default response is only 2 percent of abusers go to jail for sexually abusing children.

After many years of doing this work, I have come to believe that we all play a role in contributing to Child Sexual Abuse. Our belief systems, thoughts and actions, make children vulnerable to abuse.

Many people react strongly to this statement, but I firmly believe it’s the truth.   The way we socialize children around authority, and reinforcing the myth of “stranger danger,” we create a culture of silence and disempowerment of children.

One of the things we need to do is work together to change our attitudes and belief systems about sexual abuse. I know that sounds impossible, but it is doable. Think about how our attitudes have changed over time about smoking, seat belts, and car seats. I remember when as a child no one thought much about these issues, but now we would hesitate to get into a car and not buckle up or put our child in a car seat. These are real, concrete examples of social norms changing.

One of the goals of this blog is to ask questions about social norms and how these impact sexual abuse. It is my belief raising awareness about social norms is the way we can challenge ourselves to make changes that keep children safer. I am asking everyone to commit to making one change that will make children safer. For suggestions, please look at previous posts.

 

 

 

Our Boys Need Protection

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There are far too few discussions about sexual abuse and when we do talk about it, we tend to be more protective of girls than boys. What about boys?   Based on current statistics, 1 in 6 boys will be abused before the age of 18. Why are we not paying attention to this?   Child Sexual Abuse is not an issue that only impacts girls. We need to talk to our boys and educate them just like we do our girls.

Many boys never knew sexual abuse was something that could happen to them because they were never told. This lack of knowledge is one of the reasons that boys disclose at very low rates. The reality is that even if they do tell, they are not believed and have their sexuality questioned.   Our ideas about males and masculinity have made it difficult to protect boys. When an older female, like a teacher or babysitter, abuses a boy it is seen as a “right of passage.” Often he will get congratulations instead of outrage. How many times have we seen these types of stories in the news? In the media, it is often referred to as an “affair” or an inappropriate relationship, not as Child Sexual Abuse. What message are we sending boys?

Another issue that often comes up is the situation in which an older youth or adult educates a boy on how to “be a man”.   Boys are given explicit details and instructions on how to have sex, and shown pictures and movies. Again, this tends to be seen as a right of passage, but exposing children to pornography is sexual abuse.   What we have come to accept, as typical ways to socialize boys about sex and sexuality is sexual abuse.

There are things we can do to stop the sexual abuse of boys. We need to educate them about Child Sexual Abuse in the same way we educate girls. We need to change our belief systems and attitudes about males, masculinity and sexuality. No little boy should be abused as a right of passage or early education.   When we fail to act we are stealing childhoods. We can do better. This is another way we can all work together to end Child Sexual Abuse.

 

 

Abuse by Youth

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Did you know that 40% of perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse are under the age of 18?   Abuse by youth is something we don’t readily acknowledge or talk about, and we often downplay it when we hear about it. Let me be clear – Child Sexual Abuse is a violation and has a long lasting impact regardless of the age or gender of the perpetrator.

The majority of the time it is someone the child knows that has easy access to the child. Since children spend most of their time with other children and youth, the risk can be very high. I also find that we tend to have a high tolerance for abusive behaviors in youth.   I often hear people say that “kids will be kids,” or “boys will be boys.” and hormones drive teens. These beliefs shape our attitudes and lead to a culture of acceptance.

Our youth are subject to a high rate of sexual harassment and sexual violence.   Why does this happen?   Unfortunately there are no easy answers. One thing we must acknowledge is that the behavior of young people reflects what they see and experience. People commonly believe music, television, and popular culture is the problem.   My question is, who creates and produces this content—children or adults? These things may be part of the puzzle, but in no way the sole cause.

The other question to ask is what is happening in our homes and communities?   What are our children reflecting back to us from these environments? Why are they abusing other children? What are they being exposed to? How are they learning about violence, power and control? Why do some youth feel they can violate others? What are we teaching them about gender, race, and oppression? There is a tendency to blame youth for these behaviors because we don’t want to look at ourselves or hold ourselves accountable.

As I have said before, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18. Some children exposed to abuse may begin acting out these behaviors particularly if they have not received treatment or had adequate interventions. In a lot of ways this makes sense since children and youth learn about and process things through play, acting out, and imitating—especially when there are no words to describe what has happened.

Due to a lack of awareness and tolerance of sexual violence among youth we miss the children who need our help and put more children at risk for being abused. What can we do about this? What are we doing to make our homes and communities safer? What changes can we make?

I’m sorry this post has more questions than answers, but we really need to think about this. What can we do to make a difference? How do we give children the tools to navigate relationships with other children?

Here are some things to think about:

  • Begin asking children in your life about their friends and how being with their friends makes them feel,
  • Pay attention to children/youth who tend to play with much younger children,
  • Allow children to set body boundaries even with older siblings, relatives, and friends,
  • Teach your child to respect other people’s boundaries,
  • Teach children to play respectfully with other children (no hitting, pushing, punching),
  • Do not allow your child to verbally abuse other children,
  • Believe children when they tell you something is happening,
  • Do not force children to play with anyone who makes them uncomfortable.

 

 

 

Why Children Don’t Disclose Child Sexual Abuse

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We often falsely believe that if a child is abused they will tell us right away.   My question is why would you think that? Think of how we socialize children.   Do we really put children in a position to tell us something like that? Think about it. We tell children not to tattle or snitch. We tell them to keep our secrets. We also instruct them not to tell people what goes on in the home.   Believe it or not, this does have a profound impact. We teach children early to keep things to themselves.

If you saw some of the other posts, I talk about how we expect children to respect authority and elders without question, we violate their boundaries, we don’t educate them about their bodies, or give them the language to communicate if abuse happens. What do we expect the result will be?

Many children won’t disclose abuse in childhood…is there any wonder why?  Often when children are abused they simply don’t know what to say.   Maybe they are too young or maybe we miss the cues they give us. Children do not communicate like adults. One of the typical ways a child will try to tell about abuse is to say they don’t want to spend time with the abuser or they don’t want to go to the location where abuse is occurring.   In my work, I have heard this many times.   The thing that shocks me most is that the adults don’t ask why the child does not want to see a person or go to a particular place.   Do you know how much abuse we miss because we don’t ask why or what’s the matter? So how can we change this? What can we do differently? Here are some ideas to improve communication with children:

  • Do not reprimand or punish children for “tattling,”
  • Think about how you generally react when a child tells you things that are upsetting. If you tend to be emotionally reactive you need to make changes,
  • Ask them questions about their day and ask what was good about the day and also ask what was not so good,
  • Do not encourage children to keep secrets of any kind,
  • Teach children the difference between secrets and surprises,
  • If a child expresses concern and discomfort with anyone (adult or youth), ask why.

There are many things we can do to end Child Sexual Abuse. If we all do our part, we can change the world.

 

Body Safety Part II

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Talking to children about naming their body parts and reducing shame and stigma is only part of what needs to be done to prevent abuse. In previous posts I have talked about allowing children to decide who they hug and kiss (including family). I want to add another piece of the puzzle: a more in-depth conversation about the body.

Most of the time abuse prevention educators tell children that no one should touch their “private parts,” but why stop there? I know as an adult I have felt that it’s not ok for certain people to touch me at all, whether it’s a pat on the back, touching my shoulder, whatever. Why don’t we allow children to do the same? We need to teach children that they are the bosses of their own body. This concept goes way beyond private parts. Adults should even respect when children say they are tired, hungry, in pain, or have to go to the bathroom. How many times do we tell children to ignore what their body is telling them?

Not only do I educate people about Child Sexual Abuse, I’m also a parent. I tell my daughter that her body is always right. Her body tells her when she is around someone who makes her nervous (adult or child) and she knows to be more cautious.   Her body knows when she is sick, hungry, or tired.   When we allow children to listen to their bodies, they are more likely to share with us when they feel uncomfortable. If we don’t allow them to listen to their bodies, they learn to ignore the body with potentially devastating consequences.

So, if someone hugs a child and she or he does not feel comfortable, then to that child that is a bad touch. We should also teach children that hitting, pinching, punching, and pushing are bad touches. It’s amazing how this type of contact is often excluded from body safety education. We need to teach children (and adults) to respect other people’s bodies at all times. This goes beyond sexual abuse. Imagine how different the world would be for children if they were told their bodies are to be respected at all times in all circumstances.

 

Body Safety Part I

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In trainings, I always get push back when I tell adults they must teach children the correct names of their body parts. We still struggle with how to educate children about their bodies and often still don’t tell children the correct name of their body parts. I know this might be hard to believe in 2016, but I want to make the case (again) for why it is important to educate your children to know the correct names of their body parts.

  1. Reduces Shame and Stigma about the Body

Many children are told their private parts are dirty, unmentionable, or something to be ashamed of.   If we hear these messages at a young age, it sets the tone for body image issues for the rest of our lives.

  1. Increases likelihood of Disclosure

If a child is trying to disclose abuse, the person they reach out to may not know the name that the child uses for that body part.

This happens frequently. What if you told a child that the name for her vagina is “purse.”? What if she goes to her teacher and says someone touched her “purse”? What if the teacher doesn’t understand that “purse” means vagina? A disclosure of abuse may have been missed. I am not making this up – this really happens. If the child is bilingual they should know the names in both languages.   This allows them to communicate and be understood. This one simple act can make a child safer.

  1. Awareness Prevents Abuse

If a perpetrator is looking to identify a vulnerable child, they will often avoid a child who knows the names of their body parts. To the potential abuser, a child that has been educated and empowered will most likely disclose potential abuse.

I hope these three reasons are compelling enough for you to consider making a change. Like I mentioned before, these are some of the things we can do to make a difference in children’s lives.

 

 

Allowing Children to Set Boundaries

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For this post I am asking everyone to go back to their childhood and picture the following scene: You walk into a large family event, such as a barbeque, reunion, or holiday party, with your parents or guardians. What is the first thing you are supposed to do as a child? Think a minute. I always ask this question when I do workshops. The answer I typically get is to hug and kiss all your family members—whether you want to or not. Do any of you remember having this experience?

Now, what if you didn’t want to hug and kiss everyone in the room? What if someone hugged too tight or gave you a strange feeling?

I am not talking about anyone trying to harm you—you just feel uncomfortable. Could you have said “no”? Could you refuse to hug or kiss someone? What would happen? Would you have gotten into some kind of trouble? Would something have been said to your parent/guardian? The answer I typically get is that most of us could not have said no.

What are the consequences of not allowing children to set boundaries in these situations? For one thing, they are taught to ignore the strange feelings they get in the pit of their stomach when they are hugged too tight or when they feel uncomfortable. We socialize children very young against setting boundaries with adults—any adult. A child will slowly become desensitized to the alarm bells or the butterflies in the pit of their stomach. What happens when the alarm bells don’t sound as loud or the butterflies’ stop moving? Children become more vulnerable to sexual abuse.

When I bring up this topic, the answer I often get is that I am not sensitive to family norms or, worse that I am encouraging adults not to be physically nurturing to children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, I strongly believe that the primary caretakers should give their children a lot of hugs and kisses. This is how they will learn what are good touches and pleasant feelings. All I am asking is why do we make children have physical contact with every adult without their consent?

This starts within our own family systems. Like I have said, 90% of children know their abusers— some may be in the same family. We put children at further risk because we teach them that they are not allowed to speak out and set boundaries, especially within the family.

Imagine the impact we would all have if we allowed children to decide who in that family event they wanted to hug and kiss! Imagine if we allowed them to honor their instincts, butterflies, or alarm bells. So I am asking all of you to not insist that a child hug and kiss you at an event without their consent. Remember, we can all do something to end Child Sexual Abuse.