A new school year is upon us. Children and families across the country are navigating school schedules, after-school programs, sports, and other extra-curricular activities. The beginning of the school year is the perfect time to talk to children about body safety, setting personal boundaries, and helping them understand the limits of authority figures in their lives. Accordingly, my question to you is what have you done to make sure our children are safe during this new school year?
I am a parent myself; this post is not meant to raise anxiety, but instead, remind us we need to take some extra steps. I mentioned in other posts children are most often abused by someone they know, especially those in positions of authority. We need to remind children there is a line between respecting authority figures and doing everything an authority figure says without question. Here are some quick tips to help you navigate this year:
- Most states, cities and municipalities require that anyone who is in direct care of children receive a criminal background check, and screened to determine if they have a history of child abuse and neglect.
- Youth staff under 18 employed in programs are not required to be have the same screening
- The protocol for all camps, day cares, schools, and recreational programs states that no one should be with a child without an another adult present. When this is not possible (which should be rare), the adult/counselor and child must be in plain view. This includes being visible with the doors open and another adult should be made aware of where the child will be.
- Teachers, coaches, tutors, or any other direct service youth staff should not be calling, emailing, texting, sending direct messages or should be “friends” with your child on social media without your knowledge and consent. Group communication is acceptable and often necessary, but individual contact should be limited.
- Children who have completed kindergarten should not be receiving help in the bathroom by any staff member unless there is an emergency.
- You should remind your child they are entitled to set limits with other children, youth, and adults about their personal space, the right to say no, and to limit contact with anyone if they are uncomfortable.
- Teach your child that they must respect the personal space of others.
- We must take bullying seriously and be honest about the fact that some forms of bullying is sexual assault. Our children should know the difference!
- Keep the lines of communication open so your child will feel comfortable talking about what goes on during this day.
- Ask your children what type of contact and situations makes them feel uncomfortable and remember that your definition of uncomfortable may be different from your child’s definition. Once you find out, make sure you ask your child whether anyone has made them feel uncomfortable on a regular basis.
- Begin to have a discussion with your child about consent. Remember consent is not something we should only talk about in the context of sex, but instead, applies to many situations children face daily. In the most basic terms, you should tell your child that no one should come into their personal space without their permission. Also, let your child know they must get consent from others as well.
- Ask your child to identify adults they feel comfortable talking to if they need to. Your child may need to talk to someone immediately and a parent might not be around.
- Remember your words have a powerful impact on your child! If you call your child a tattle-tale, snitch, or encourage them to keep secrets, they may not tell you when they feel uncomfortable, scared, or feel unsafe.
A new school year is the perfect time to review these tips! You can add more information as each your progresses and your child gets older.
We all can do our part to prevent Child Sexual Abuse.