Our Boys Need Protection

There are far too few discussions about sexual abuse and when we do talk about it, we tend to be more protective of girls than boys. What about boys?   Based on current statistics, 1 in 6 boys will be abused before the age of 18. Why are we not paying attention to this?   Child Sexual Abuse is not an issue that only impacts girls. We need to talk to our boys and educate them just like we do our girls.

Many boys never knew sexual abuse was something that could happen to them because they were never told. This lack of knowledge is one of the reasons that boys disclose at very low rates. The reality is that even if they do tell, they are not believed and have their sexuality questioned.   Our ideas about males and masculinity have made it difficult to protect boys. When an older female, like a teacher or babysitter, abuses a boy it is seen as a “right of passage.” Often he will get congratulations instead of outrage. How many times have we seen these types of stories in the news? In the media, it is often referred to as an “affair” or an inappropriate relationship, not as Child Sexual Abuse. What message are we sending boys?

Another issue that often comes up is the situation in which an older youth or adult educates a boy on how to “be a man”.   Boys are given explicit details and instructions on how to have sex, and shown pictures and movies. Again, this tends to be seen as a right of passage, but exposing children to pornography is sexual abuse.   What we have come to accept, as typical ways to socialize boys about sex and sexuality is sexual abuse.

There are things we can do to stop the sexual abuse of boys. We need to educate them about Child Sexual Abuse in the same way we educate girls. We need to change our belief systems and attitudes about males, masculinity and sexuality. No little boy should be abused as a right of passage or early education.   When we fail to act we are stealing childhoods. We can do better. This is another way we can all work together to end Child Sexual Abuse.